This is going to be a lengthy blog today, it's a sensitive subject with a lot of information to cram in. Enjoy :)
I changed primary (elementary) school at the age of 7 and from there on I started to get bullied quite badly.. Every school day would consist of abuse, all because I had over grown cartilage in my nose.
'Witch', Pinocchio' and 'Cruelle Devil' where among the names that were hurled at me. Some school lessons there were illustrated picture's in work books that had a slightly exaggerated nose, all fingers would point to me, the whispers would start and they'd graffiti my name into the book next to the picture.. I had books thrown at my head, the back of my chair would get kicked repeatedly so I'd jolt and other students would make a huge fuss if a teacher was to make them sit by me. I went through a stage where I was to scared to go to school and I used to pretend to be ill. I lost my confidence a heck of a lot and if we had choice seating I would sit at the back so I was out of view and on buses I'd sit facing windows so my face was out of view of others.
The mistake I made was that I hardly mentioned it to any of my family. I know many people say oh tell someone, I know it's not as easy as that but once I left school I realised that I should have spoken up. I really recommend if you're being bullied, tell someone. Kids can be really harsh but it all ends once you leave school. I promise.
I used to take it all to heart and I thought I'd have to go through it all again in college. I was in college for 3 years and the first year was before surgery, everybody on the course wanted to be there, unlike school where kids are bored and want out. Everyone acted like adults, minus one or two, they were all so nice. I look back and realised it was all kids talk and that's just how kids act. Kids are mean because they have nothing else better to do. Once you hit the real world, it all becomes clear and the kids go away, you start living your life away from immature school students and you start thinking like an adult.
So because of all this, from the age of 10 I was determined that once I left school I would have a nose job.
Once I left senior school in July 2010 at the age of 16, I went to my GP (doctor) and asked if it was possible to have a nose job on the NHS. Now, I thought this was all going to happen in a matter of months and I would have a brand new nose just like that.. That wasn't the case.
My GP referred me to a surgeon at my local hospital. It took quite a few months to get a response / appointment, once I got / went to the appointment, the surgeon spoke to me, examined my nose and then referred me to a therapist. I had no inclination as to whether it may happen, when it may happen and what was going to happen. This therapist was the person that would determine whether I was genuinely affected by what's gone on, therefore if i was, the NHS would help me, or, if i was just a person playing on the situation to use the NHS. She asked stuff like why I wanted it done, how its affected me and so on..
I then heard nothing, again, for quite a few months, as, the hospital board (the decision making people) had to have a meeting to say whether they're for or against me having this surgery on the NHS. Months down the line I had a letter saying I had another appointment to see the surgeon, it was good news. He told me what he was going to do, how he was going to do it and what will happen after. Around October 2011 I had my surgery date which was for the 31st January 2012, at the age of 18, 18 months (1 and a half years) after my original appointment with my GP. A few weeks before my surgery I had to go to the hospital for some tests, a blood test (which i have a genuine phobia of) and the nurse told me what I needed to bring with me on the day.
31st January, I had to be at the hospital at 7.30am, I was told to put on a hospital gown, hospital stockings (which had to stay on for 6 weeks) and all my jewelry had to come off. I wasn't given a surgery time so it was just a matter of waiting. At 10am a lady came for me and I entered the prep room, lay down and was put under anaesthetic. It took about 10-15 seconds for me to go to sleep from the moment the anaesthetic started to go into my body, the last thing I remember was the room spinning crazily, then looking at the clock and saying that it looks weird.
I warn you now, once you get woken up from a surgery you have no control of what comes out of your mouth.. I called one of the male nurses fit, to his face, which I'd never usually say to a stranger.. It's like word vomit, I have no recollection of thinking it before I said it and I only realised I said it once it actually came out of my mouth. Haha.
I didn't fall asleep again once I entered the ward. I was sharing a room with 3 lovely ladies.
I had 3 weeks of wearing the splint as seen in the picture below, I had 3 weeks of college and I lay on the settee for nearly all of it as I felt gunged up and crappy almost everyday. I woke up every morning very uncomfortable as the painkillers had warn off during the night. My nose ran clear liquid for quite a while which stung quite bad.
Obviously looking rough.. This was a few days after the surgery, I had little bruising around my eyes throughout the whole thing, but i was swollen, mainly around my cheeks and top lip.
I had my splint and stitches off 3 weeks later, the stitches being removed was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I'm not trying to scare anyone, but the inside of the nose is very sensitive and it hurt. I was to scared to look in the mirror for about an hour after everything was removed as the procedure meant a lot to me, I cried for ages with happiness.. This was the first picture I took of my new nose, comparing the nose to the picture next to me.
The day the splint came off. As you can tell by the tissue and my swollen eyes, I had been crying. My nose was still extremely swollen and my face was also swollen.
This was about two months after the splint came off. The swelling had gone down in size quite a bit and it started to take shape.
I was told I won't see the true shape of my new nose until a year had pasted. This picture is exactly a year on from the operation. I don't regret a thing and it was all 100% worth it.
I thought about this surgery for 8 years before I lay on the hospital bed and went through with it. I'm not writing this blog post to tell you to give in to the bullies and go change yourself. I had my surgery at a young age, I was 18, I'm now coming 21 in October and it has been 2 years and 7 months. I didn't really know life other than being bullied at that age, if you're considering it, think of all the options first. I do not regret it one bit as it was well thought out and it was what I really wanted.
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